Veva Marie is stuck up ...

Stuck up:
1. A person who thinks they’re better than everyone else, except within their clique of friends. Most often a stuck up person is also really fake, they are also extremely conceited.

When I was asked to be a part of something so powerful, I easily accepted. However, putting my story down on paper has been the most difficult task I’ve ever attempted to complete. Although it has been an emotional assignment, I hope that it inspires others as much as it has relieved me.

Many people/strangers think I am easy to read. If you think you really know me, prepare to try and understand my story.

The words “stuck up” have hurt me in more ways than one. Yes, I get dressed up, do my make up, and tease my hair when I go out. Every girl LOVES to feel beautiful. The way that I dress, the way I chose to carry myself, or the moves I make on the dance floor, however, may give the wrong impression of who I really am and where I have come from. A couple years ago, I was out with my girlfriends when I noticed this guy approaching me. I was new to going out, so at first I was super excited! After a few words were exchanged, I realized that he didn’t really like ME, he liked what he saw and wanted to take it home with him for a night. I instantly became offended with things that he was saying, and had no other choice but to walk away and remove myself from the situation. As I started walking away, he shouted out a few bad names and ended it with “Stuck up, Bitch.” It hurt. Instantly. Did he ever think that maybe he wasn’t my type? Or maybe I wasn’t in the mood for what he wanted? Or maybe the FACT that I am a victim of child molestation and I hate the person I am? Exactly. I felt completely violated, damaged, used. My past started exploding in front my face. How dare someone call me such names, not knowing how it would truly affect me? He doesn’t know that I have struggled my whole life with feeling comfortable in my own skin, that I sometimes look in the mirror and feel disgusted with what I see, or that sometimes I can’t get through a whole day without having flashes of my past. At the time, I was young, vulnerable, and scared. That one night left me so confused. That one encounter turned me bad. I started cutting myself to release the pain I felt. Now, I’m not only left with the mental scars, but physical scars that remind me daily of what damage has been done.

Luckily, I was born a strong enough woman to come back from such a deep, dark place. I found a doctor and finally told my story. I cried through it, I was suicidal through it, but dealt with it and was able to move on and live a life I had always dreamed of. I surrounded myself with people I love, and I now live my life with nothing but passion towards my dreams. I look back on these days of torment and suffering and know that no matter how ominous your days may be, you have the choice to move on and find the light at the end of the tunnel. Words ALMOST killed.